Lack of Luck

Lack of Luck

I am afraid that i'm going to break
there's more that I can do on this land?
I just feel like I am a freak
there's no much more that I can lend

all I waited for, all I wanted to know, just a leak of your voice
here I am surviving on this lake
i'm suffering from famine, waiting for your words to feed me as a steak does
I am afraid to come, afraid to leave

I feel down, I feel surround, I am weak
I had learnt very few from your lecture
my mind is empty, i'm blocked, I am black
I can't keep believing anymore your lie

all them put ones over the others like a brick
them form a wall, stops my horizon, a strong line
I hear the ticking of the clock
is that now the time of our love?

I need to know you more I need some feedback
because I feel as tiny as a leaf
is my mind or had you just knock, the door?
there are still things I should learn, or know?

I though I had so much luck
but it all bitters as a lemon
I try to keep up this rock
I try to follow your lesson

but in the end all, leaves me with a shock
what comes out from your lip
you hurt me, you make me sick
those words playing loop, on my mind

you fitted as thight as a sock
you tried to make me be a leader
but I was sure it all was a trick
since I saw you, wearing those leather clothes

holding up your stick
making me write those letter
your words are stuck on my head
I try to forget them but I can't let them go

all I feel is a deep empty, void, lack
was it love or was it just lust?
each little second I become more and more a geek
because you left be broken, you left me low

I am lost but I still try to seek
like in danger animals I am, a lynx
I appreactice your caress as soft as silk
them makes me good, made me be lively

but, a part of you, makes me blink
how can you be a villain and also that lovely?
I am thirsty of knowledge I need to drink, you
I am lost in this huge land that we used to own

all I believe in, I put it down through ink
I fill pages, I cry for ages, till form a lake
may it seems just a pile of junk
but is for you, for you make me be like a leaf

I fear to fall in my fears, to sink in there
I try to know, I try to learn
but still all is not clear, there's some dark
in the corners of your lip I will fall in

my ghosts are waiting me outside, just like shark
you made me be a leader
you made that all spark around
but now you are gone, you had let me down

could I do anything to change, there's anything I can ask you?
Since you've gone, i'm broken, I am here low
all we did, I know now, it was too risk
but yet here I am, trying to be tammed, to be free, myself just a lynx

Ariadna Squire Damique
(26-04-2008)

-------
Trivia:

I just looked for it to have some rhythm... so that's why some letters are in bold.. are the words i picked up first (from a list i made myself previously for this 'experiment'), so then i 'filled' the rest of the line... so i find it a kind of 'Dada' thing... as it was not a concrete idea on my mind.. i just wanted to try something like that.. hope that after all it makes some sense.

I'll try this new 'method' on some others poems. is not that i had liked it so much but well... is like a training for me now.